Sleepless Nights

At 9 months old, Ellie was still waking up 3-5 times a night needing a bottle. Now, I know every child is different but its hard not to compare myself to other moms who post on social media about their babies sleeping through the night at such a young age (2 months old even!!!!).

I was about 4 months pregnant with my second child when I brought Ellie to her 9 month baby appointment. At this point I had given up on the sleeping thing and just figured this was my life now. Her sweet doctor was super impressed with how well Ellie has been doing it was as if she was digging to get to the real truth and find something she could help with. Then she asked

“How’s she sleeping”

DING DING DING!!!

I explained how she wakes up 3-5 times a night, some nights more, some nights less.

“No, no, no, she needs to be sleeping through the night.

My goal was to get Ellie sleeping through the night before baby number 2 arrived. But I was at a lost of what to do during the middle of the night when she does wake up. Giving her a bottle stops her crying and we all get back to sleep.

Her amazing doctor gave me a game plan and honestly I still wasn’t completely sure, my husband didn’t believe this would work at all. But by night number 3 she slept through the entire night, 7pm-7am, and woke up with a dry diaper even!!

I’ll share what we did, I have no idea if this works for every baby or not, but it worked for us!

  1. Have a night time routine.

This was already established for us. We start around 5:30pm with dinner, then bath time, then some quiet time (reading, tv, light playing, ect. ), then bed around 7:30pm. Ellie knows what is coming next every single night and we never had an issue with putting her to bed.

2. Putting her to bed.

We now give her a bottle during her quiet time if she needs one rather than in her crib. She doesn’t get a bottle in her crib at all anymore. I set her room up the same each night, put her down, tell her the same thing every night “goodnight, I love you”, and walk out.

3. Time her cries if needed.

The first couple of nights were rough. We had two options to either let her cry it out or time her cries and go back in. As soon as I walked out on the first night she started crying, I would start timing one minute. After a minute I would go back in, not say anything, just rub her back adjust her if needed, until she stopped crying. I then would say “goodnight, I love you” and walk out again. This time I double the amount of time once she starts crying. Now I set the timer for 2 minutes. Go back in without saying anything soothe her, tell her I love her, and walk out. I continued this process doubling the time of her cries each time I went in. The first night she cried for a total of 10 minutes. The second night took about 2 minutes, as well as the third night. By the fourth night she understood and cried for 30 seconds and was sound asleep. The fifth night and on she doesn’t cry, she watches me walk out and lays there until she falls asleep.

4. What to do if she wakes in the middle of the night?

If she woke during the middle of the night I would repeat step 3. Wait one minute, go check on her, rub her back until she stops crying and walk back out. She usually was already tired that this was all it took but if she were to continue to cry I would keep doubling the time between each check in.

That’s it!

That’s all it took for us!

After about one week of doing this and things were going great she did develop a habit of needing mom in the room. She figured out that I was in there when she was awake and wasn’t while she was sleeping. I stuck to the process and would rub her back or forehead until she was calm, walk out, and time her cries. This habit lasted about 3 nights which made our bed time routine rough but I didnt give in and she sleeps so so amazing now.

Now that I saw how amazingly well the sleep training worked I will definitely be starting this process sooner with baby number 2!

Always,

Desiree

xoxo

My Favorite Newborn Item

One thing I purchased after having my first child was the Baby Breeza Formula Pro.

Initially, I had planned to exclusively breastfeed. That changed after a couple weeks and I began to introduce formula to her diet. Eventually, we found a formula that worked for her and slowly she was completely weened off breast milk and exclusively formula fed.

We prepared her formula the old school way of measuring out the scopes and water combination. We always tried to get the temperature just right. This usually was taking place all while Ellie was crying for food. The Baby Breeza took all the guess work out of it!

We simply place her bottle in the Baby Breeza and select how many ounces and hit start. Within seconds her bottle is ready for her! This become our favorite item during the middle of the night feedings! I placed the Baby Breeza on my nightstand and when Ellie would wake up in the middle of the night I could just hit the start button all sleepy eyed and give her bottle to her in the bassinet.

Both my husband and I saw the real benefit of the Baby Breeza when night time fell. We loved it during the day but it really shined for us at night!

If you are wondering what you really need or don’t need for your child, I would highly recommend spending the money and getting yourself a Baby Breeza!

Always,

Desiree

xoxo

Maternity leave nightmare; living with PPD

I envisioned my maternity leave to be this long blissful experience and a little bit of a break from the day to day grind. I was in for an abrupt, rude awakening!

PPD was something everyone told me to watch for when I was pregnant. They never told me what to watch for, or what PPD truly looks like. Looking back at it now I can honestly say PPD hit me before I even left the hospital. I delivered my daughter just minutes before 9pm and by mid-night it hit me, I was not going to get sleep. I had to be the one to feed my daughter, no nurse, not my husband, just me. I had to call the nurse to my room to ask her how to swaddle my daughter. I had to call the nurse in to help me from my bed to the bathroom just so I could pee. My legs were uncontrollably shaking, when would they stop? Around 3am my daughter decided she was going to cluster feed until about 9am. I had no idea what cluster feeding was but I learned very quickly. Around 4 or 5 in the morning I laid in my hospital bed bailing my eyes out while my daughter fed off my raw sore nipples.

Exhausted

Frustrated

Overwhelmed

Sore

These are just a few of the emotions I was feeling that night/morning. I could literally feel my mood take a complete dip to rock bottom in a matter of hours. Once I arrived home these emotions did not go away. In fact even more emotions and feelings started coming to play. Every. Single. Thing. made me cry! I felt like not one person understood what I was going through or understood how I was feeling. Soon I began to think they didn’t even care; as long as I was well enough to feed Ellie. I began to feel like a milk bank and that was the only value I was bringing to anyone.

I kept putting these feelings off and telling myself I was just over tired. Many people told me its the “Baby Blues” and not to worry because it’s normal. I would just tell myself they’re right, I’m ok, I’m just over tired and having a little case of the baby blues. I’ll be fine! I longed to get my daughter on a feeding and nap time routine. I thought some sort of structure would help my mood. Keeping a brand new baby to a routine added even more pressure for myself. The frustration and defeat I felt when the routine was compromised was unbearable!

I felt like I had to do EVERYTHING with no help whatsoever. I felt like my husband was just another child I had to look after. It wasn’t true, he did help, he also worked each day. But in my mind, at the time, he did nothing. I had multiple break downs, severe break downs. I had the most negative thoughts about myself. I began thinking how I wasn’t cut out to be a mom, my husband would be better off with someone other than me, my daughter would have a better life with her dad and someone else as a mom. I felt like I was ruining everyone’s life around me. Then the suicidal thoughts came. One night, during a feeding, I had a plan. That night After putting my daughter back to sleep I would say my goodbyes to the dogs and leave my husband to deal with everything in the morning. I was giving up and done with life at that point.

The next morning I called my doctor for help. I fell asleep trying to get my daughter back to sleep. I saw it as my second chance. I can seek out professional help and try to feel better sooner, or I can keep struggling alone and hope things get better. My doctors office saw me right away, I felt amazing walking out of that appointment! I knew I was not cured but it was a start. I was filled with so much hope for my future!

I started my medication that day. I was ashamed that I had to be the “crazy girl that was medicated”, I didn’t want anyone to know about it. Two days passed and I felt better! I was still sad but I didn’t feel like a ticking time bomb anymore. A few more appointments and an adjustment to the medications and before I knew it I was feeling so great! I no longer cared who knew if I was on medication or not! I no longer had the mindset of stopping the medication once I felt better. I’m scared to stop the medication! I know how I am feeling now and I never want to go back to how low I felt during my maternity leave.

Keep in mind this all happened so quickly! From giving birth to my daughter to my first PPD appointment was a total of 4 weeks. In 4 weeks time I went from feeling myself to nearly taking my life. It is so scary how fast this can happen! How quickly your mind can convince you of such awful things! I am so thankful for my doctor that saw me that first PPD appointment and how well she handled the entire situation!

This is a look into my situation and my story. Take your meds! And take care of yourself!

Always,

Desiree

xoxo

The one thing I wish I knew

As a first time mom there are so many things people explain to you or tell you of what to expect once your new baby comes. However, if I could go back to being pregnant for the first time, the one thing I wished someone talked more with me about was breastfeeding!

So many people asked me while I was pregnant if I planned on breastfeeding. My answer every single time was yes. My knowledge on breastfeeding at that point was very limited. I was under the impression that if my baby latches on then great! I’ll breastfeed because ‘breast is best’ (how naive of me). If she doesn’t latch then I’ll have to switch to formula. Simple as that. Or so I thought!

When I answered yes to the question of breastfeeding my child every single person said good and moved onto something else. Not one person explained any of the difficulties that could come with breastfeeding. And honestly I had many surprise difficulties.

But those difficulties are not necessarily what I wish someone talked more with me about. The number one topic I wish somebody talked more about with me while I was pregnant is how to get a good latch! This is a simple thing every single new mom can take 10-15 minutes while pregnant to look into.

I went into labor with no idea about the different holds and what a good latch is and how to achieve this latch. I honestly thought breastfeeding was just natural and both my baby and I would just naturally know what to do. Not the case for me! Our first initial latch shortly after birth was very painful, a complete shock, and felt like my newborn baby had teeth! I just stuck it out and kept going. I had a lactation specialist come in the next morning to check in. This was the first person to even explain what a good latch is and how to position her to get that latch.

Over time my daughter and I got much better at breastfeeding but I feel the damage to my poor nipples started from that very first latch. If someone told me to look into latch techniques ahead of time I may have been more prepared and may have been able to salvage my nipples.

All you new expecting moms, I strongly urge you to looking into how to get a good latch! It may help prevent some postpartum stress!

Always,

Desiree

xoxo

Mainely Mom

Hello all,

I wanted to introduce myself and give you a short little story as to why I am here in the first place. I’ll start with my name, Desiree, but most call me Des (pronounced Dez but I hate spelling it with a ‘z’).

I was born and raised in the state of Maine. I married my brother’s best friend, a true Mainer, Josh. I describe him as a “true Mainer” because of his love for trees and the outdoors. He’s an arborist, he literally hugs trees daily! I am a full time Surgical Sales Rep, which requires me to travel often for work.

We have 2 dogs, multiple fish, and chickens on the way! Most people get a kick out of our dogs, Chloe who is an 11 year old Yorkie and weighs in at about 5 lbs on her good day (7-8 lbs if she hadn’t been to the bathroom first). We also have Brutus, a 3 year old Cane Corso and Mastiff mix. He weighs more than me! He’s about 150 lbs. We have one extreme to the other with our dogs! It can be quiet comical!

We are first time parents. I am a first time mom! How exciting, right? We had a beautiful healthy baby girl in August of 2019. Little did I know the whirlwind of an experience I would have the minute I went into labor. Having my daughter has completely changed me and my life. During the 4th trimester, I found myself so many times asking anyone and everyone that would listen

“WHY didn’t anyone tell me about this?!”

So, that’s what I am hear for!

  1. Writing it all down helps me manage and navigate motherhood as well as my mental state.
  2. I can be the person to tell new moms what I wish someone had told me!
  3. How fun will it be to document all the little things throughout my child’s life?

I want to share all things motherhood and baby related with you all; postpartum, breastfeeding, childcare, managing work, sleep training, bottle feeding, etc. I will also share lifestyle posts from time to time for fun as well.

I would also love to connect with other moms! Let’s all build each other up and provide support! I would love to help someone out with any motherhood/parenting/baby advice they may be seeking!

I am excited to share more with you all along my journey through life!

I hope you all enjoy!